This is really happening!

You know when you plan something, but it doesn’t set in until later?  I say this for vacations … It doesn’t quite set in that I’m on vacation or I am going somewhere until I actually land at my destination.  Not as uplifting as the vacation scenario, but I just had that “omg, we are really doing this!”  when I received my box full of meds this past Friday evening.

**TONIGHT I’LL BE ON FB LIVE AT 9:30 PM EST **  Follow me there and feel free to ask questions/comments or just to say hi!!

IVF medication box

I saw the big box at the front desk and thought to myself, what did I order on amazon this time … ha.  Taking a look at sender and then seeing the refridgerate label, my heart kind of sunk and I knew what it was … this big box were full of all the medication that I will be taking during my IVF cycle.  Reality set in, this is happening.

baby reaching into box

T was very helpful in helping me unpack my meds.  She loves boxes and pulling out whatever is in them.  I sometimes wonder why we (or anyone) ever buys toys when it seems like what most entertains babies are every day objects!

This time around does feel extremely different because I do have my little miracle here no matter what happens with the hope for #2. The amount of pressure and anxiety is not there any more.  I am very happy, more than happy … happier than I ever thought I would be because of having T, that I know whatever will happen next will be okay.  It will be dissapointing and sad of course if this proves not to be successful, but I will accept it and be forever grateful for my little miracle.  When ever I look at her, I think of how lucky I must be and I will never take anything, especially her for granted.  As I said in a previous post – my struggle with infertility has truly made me a better person.  I do not wish my struggle on anyone, but I will tell you, struggles can make you stronger than you ever thought you could be and change you to the core (hopefully for the better!).

The costs of these meds!

Insurance papers

Costs … a very important topic when it comes to medication.  This is the last round that my current insurance will cover IVF.  I get two IVF cycles within a lifetime, and the previous was used on my 3rd IVF treatment (the first failed 2 IVFs were under my husband’s insurance).  With all this in mind, knowing the success stats for IVF, I am preparing myself for the financial costs if I do have to do another or many more IVF cycles without insurance.

I always ask the pharmacy for the copay amount before having them ship the meds.  This pharmacy specializes in fertility medicine and ships overnight with ice packs because many of the meds need to be refridgerated.  The pharmacy phoned me to inform me that the copay for all these meds were: $83.99.  Okay, not bad at all right?  Then I asked them if they could tell me the cost if I did not have insurance and was paying out of pocket.  She put me on hold for what felt like five minutes.  When she came back she had the number for me.  What do you think it is?  I assumed it would be a lot, but I was not prepared how much more … ready?  are you ready …?? no, seriously, ready!??   ha, now I just increased your expectations and you will be dissapointed that the number won’t be as large.  My bad!  Okay, enough stalling.


Does anyone else think that’s crazy?? !! ??

Sigh, here’s really hoping that this round is successful (knock on wood!!).  Otherwise, we will have to be figuring serious financial alternatives.

cost of medication

With Insurance : $83.99

Without Insurance : $8,303.84

Again, keep in mind this is only the cost of medication – not for the actual medical office visits, surgery and procedures.  Sigh …

IVF medication

Yup .. that bag on the bottom Left corner is just a bag full of needles … aaah!!!


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